ating in restaurants as often as I do, I have the unique opportunity to experience things not only up close and personally, but often, over and over again.

Here is a list of what I could do without:

No Reservations

Not taking reservations means that it’s not a sure thing that I’ll get in. Am I going to travel for over an hour to take a chance that you’ll have room for my guests and I? I don’t think so.

The Please-Confirm-Your-Reservation

Having called or emailed to make a reservation, I am always gobsmacked when I receive a call that I have to then again confirm the reservation. Please see the Seinfeld episode, The Alternate Side, about car reservations:

Jerry: “See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.”

The Water Conversation

There is always the question just after you’ve been seated where your server comes over and asks about your water preference. They go through the spiel - still, sparkling or tap – while you are trying to figure out whether to get the Pan Seared Scallops or Chantecler Rouge Roasted Chicken.

It has been years that we’ve been back on board with tap water, so can we just agree that we’ll have tap water unless otherwise specified?

The $20 Burger

I get it. If you’re doing a blend of chuck and rib-eye and crafting your burger with exquisite meat, go ahead and charge me for it. There are a bunch in the city that are absolutely worth it. 

But please don’t give me your frozen patty and dress it in lettuce browning at the edges and call it gourmet. You’re not fooling me one bit.